35 Years of Becoming: Lessons from Life’s In-Between Moments That Matter

Today, I turn 35. 

I woke up in the morning, my husband gave me a warm birthday wish. As we were sipping our Garam Chai at 6:30 in the morning, he asked me, “how would you reflect on your life? How do you think it has been so far”? Before I could say a word, he continued, “good? fine? fair…? Sure! I don’t want you to answer it to me now, take your time to think and tell me about it in the evening. “

The day got pretty busy at 6:45 when the little one woke up, starting the usual morning routine and school run. It’s 11 AM now, I am sitting on my chair in front of my laptop and finally got time to think about my 35 years on this lovely planet. 35 years of living this blessed life, wow! Instead of rushing through the day (as a mum and business owner I often do), or just reflecting about it in my mind, I decided to write it down (as if the little reminders from friends and family about turning 35 weren’t enough, I actually felt like writing about it!).

I don’t want to talk about my achievements or milestones, but more in-between! The lessons that shaped me, the tiny shifts that made me grow, the woman I’ve become through it all, and the peace that comes with learning to embrace every version of yourself.

Thirty-five feels different. On one hand it hits differently, there’s a weight to it, a quiet recognition of the years behind me, the experiences that have shaped me, and the inevitability of time moving faster than it used to. On the other hand, it feels grounded, softer, wiser in ways that only time and experience can teach you. There’s a calm confidence in knowing that life doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful. The things I once chased, perfection, validation, comparisons, the constant need to do more, have slowly been replaced by peace, gratitude, and contentment. 

In my 20s, I thought success was about achieving more. More salaries, high paying clients, a bigger house, luxury holidays. It was a constant struggle and comparison of having and wanting more. And whatever life had for me, I constantly felt that fear of being judged, being compared and being not enough!

Living away from home has been one of my biggest teachers. It showed me what independence really means, how strength can coexist with vulnerability, and after living away from home for over a decade now, I have come to terms that home isn’t a place but feeling! A feeling of safety, of being seen and understood, of warmth and belonging that you carry within yourself wherever you go. It’s the comfort of knowing that no matter the distance or the challenges, you can create that sense of home in your heart and in the relationships you nurture along the way.

Then came my little one, like a blessing in my life. Motherhood changed me in ways I never expected. My little tornado has been my greatest teacher, reminding me every single day that happiness can be found in little things. I’ve learned to slow down, to be present even when things are messy, and to find joy in moments that used to pass me by unnoticed. Being a mother taught me patience, resilience, and the art of finding calm amidst the whirlwind. It also gave me confidence (well, raising a kid when you sometimes still feel like one yourself takes a different kind of confidence!) and courage for doing things that I never in my wildest dream thought of doing! 

Now that I am in my mid 30s, I’ve slowly realised it’s about being more, more intentional, more connected, more at peace with where I am. I’ve learned that rest isn’t laziness, it’s necessary. That clarity doesn’t come from overthinking, but from taking that one imperfect step forward. That support and community mean more than any hustle or strategy ever could. 

I’ve also come to understand that growth isn’t linear, and it’s okay to stumble along the way. That saying yes to myself sometimes means saying no to others, and that self-trust is the foundation for everything I want to build. That joy is found in small, everyday moments, and gratitude turns even the simplest days into something meaningful. I have also learned (the hard way) that success cannot be measured in wealth, status, bank balance, or the approval of others. It cannot be confined to trophies, titles, or timelines. True success is measured in the quiet moments of growth, the depth of connections we nurture, the resilience we show in challenges, and the peace we feel within ourselves. 

There have been days of joy, days of tears, days of self-doubt, and days of pure gratitude. But every single one of them has shaped me. Every experience, whether beautiful or difficult, has added a layer to who I am today. I am still broken in many ways, still not healed from the loss of dear ones I lost along the way and still trying to get over my past traumas but I am still fixing myself, and taking steps to be a better me. I’m learning to embrace all versions of myself – the dreamer, the mother, the businesswoman, the friend, each evolving, growing, and softening in her own time.

As I step into this new chapter, I don’t have a list of big goals. I mean I still have my list of goals, things I want to try and everything that I want to do. But this time, with intention. I want to move slower, live deeper, and create more meaning in everything I do. I want to spend more time with the people I love, scroll less, laugh more, and say yes to moments that fill me with joy. I want to build my business in a way that feels aligned, not rushed and where growth doesn’t come at the cost of peace. I want to continue growing as a mother, a woman, and a human but without losing sight of who I am outside of everything I do.

If I could tell my younger self one thing, it would be this: you were always enough. You didn’t have to do more, prove more, or be more. Everything you were striving for was already within you, it just took time and a few (or sometimes long) detours to find it.

And here’s to this version of me, the one who’s still learning, still growing, still finding balance between chaos and calm. Here’s to trusting the process, celebrating small wins, and living life with a little more ease and a lot more love.

And to you, reading this, take a moment today to pause and reflect on your own journey. You’re doing better than you think, and you’re exactly where you’re meant to be. Just allow yourself some time and grace and trust that your best life will find you when it’s meant to. 💜

P.S. (Every time I call myself 35 years old, a small audio plays in my mind, “why god, why?” If you understand this, you are my vibe and if you don’t, the blog post ended for you at the purple heart!).